by: Paul Hunter (2014)
This is the story of Shona polony.
For a lass that loved chips She was really quite bony.
Shona was barred from most pubs of course
The Duke and Black Horse.
The reason for this is when Shona Was drinking
Shona did things without really thinking.
At the drop of a hat she would lift up her top,
and all stood around her would ask her to stop.
All of them knowing she’d just go too far,
And whip Jagerbombs from her black lacy bra.
One night in the Fountain
Down on all fours
She sang Pretty Flamingo to rounds of applause.
Then rounded it off with a howl of delight
As she staggered away out into the night.
Then Shona stopped coming into the pubs
She stopped showing up bleary eyed in the club’s
And ev’ryone wondered where Shona had gone,
Folk started wondring if something was wrong,
Some people said that she’d gone off to Spain
And thought would they ever see Shona again.
Some thought she’d turned sober
Some thought she died
At the thought of no Shona Some of them cried.
For Shona was harmless
Gentle and kind
And when people laughed
Shona just didn’t mind.
Then one Saturday night at quarter to ten
Shona Polony turned up once again
Singing and shouting
And riding a pony.
A real character? Was she real?? You decide…